My Person.....

I trust you with me–the real me.

“I laugh harder with you. I feel more myself with you. I trust you with me–the real me. When something goes wrong, or right, or I hear a funny joke, or I see something bizarre, you’re the first person I want to talk to about it.”— Samantha Young,

As a child, I had a loving family. I always felt cherished but for whatever reason I was someone who found connecting with others in the world hard. This made me feel less and gave me a strong desire to belong, to be part of the/a group, which meant I became vulnerable to bullying. This only served to make me feel even less, and I thought finding a special someone who could love me, and want me would be unattainable and left me with a real fear of being on my own through life, and very uncertain in my life.

But I still dreamed of finding that person.

As a very young, insecure, and naive 17-year-old, I headed off into the world, via University as many of us do, not really knowing what I was doing as I had missed out on getting into what I had wanted to do. I managed to get my degree the old saying C’s get degrees is very true.

But in my last days at Uni, the best thing of all happened, I found My Person, The COG. I have been absolutely blessed by this man who has been part of my life for 45 years. He loves me warts and all, puts up with my fears and foibles, constantly encourages me to be the best person I can be, and holds me to account. Provides a shoulder to cry on, and is a rock in hard times. We have worked to have what we call, “An equal opportunity Partnership”. I have someone I can trust absolutely to have my back. He has helped me to heal, to see I have value and I’m enough just as I am.

I should say he is not perfect, just that he is perfect for me and I truly believe that is what we all need in our lives, someone who is perfect for us, who sees us not just the exterior cover. Because when times get tough, and they do, it’s that strong underlying connection that pulls you through.

At times I think we can be blinded by the exterior cover and forget to open the book and read the story to truly see if it is a story we want to be part of. We read the story and like some of the illusions that are portrayed - Prestige, Grand lifestyle, etc., and choose to stay in the story rather than understand the underlying forces that have created the story and ask -this story one that we want to be part of, does it fit with our underlying forces and values? We can feel pressured to join the story by others who may be attracted to the prestige, safeness, and lifestyle for us. I believe this holds true not just in choosing our life partner but also in choosing our friends

Always remember it’s your life, you have to live it and you have to deal with the consequences of the decisions you make both good and bad.

Finding my person has meant exactly that, choosing someone for the quality of the person rather than the fluff around them. And then enjoying the adventure that is life, unpredictable, testing, full of ups and downs, knowing your back is covered.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.” — Henri Nouwen